Bonjour a Tous,
Anyone who has arrived to live in France with minimal French language needs help. If your language skills are good, you still need help. If anyone tries to tell you differently they must be talking about another France somewhere else. Like in fantasyland.
Fortunately, and this may surprise you, the French are very good at giving assistance. Over the past 7 years we have lived in three different areas. In each we have been blessed with our own local ’guardian angel’. In St Remy de Provence it was Jacques, in Nice we had Marc, and here in Chaudenay, Burgundy it is Gilbert. Without them we would probably be in serious counselling sessions by now.
This is the story of Gilbert, and why we love him so much.

If you pronounce his name a la Francais, it comes out as ‘Shel-bare’. This will start to give you a feel for him. We didn’t realise it at the time but when we bought our Maison, it appears Shelbare came with the fittings. Shelbare is your standard Frenchman height, 4ft 11 inches (well, may be 5ft 4in) stocky build, at birth was accorded the mandatory nez, moustache, and dark features. In his own private time Shelbare was the ‘handyman’ for the previous owners and knows more about the property than they did. His ‘proper’ employment is with the local village administration.
He is eternally cheerful and enthusiastic, as willing as the day is long. Longer even. He explains to us he does everything except electrical work. He holds up the black lifeless third finger on his right hand. We get the message. Everything is done at pace. Walking at 50 mph, thinking at 100 mph, and talking at 200 mph. Consequently we catch about every 10th word while saying ‘oui’ and nodding wisely.
Our second day in residence we woke up to no hot water. The call goes out for Shelbare. I will arrive tout de suite he tells us. And he actually does. You must keep this number 8 switch down. (we have 10 of them in the laundry) D’accord Shelbare, merci we say gratefully. The third morning, c’est le meme chose.(it is the same thing) The number 8 switch will go down, but it doesn’t want to stay down. Cat-a-strophe! So we get on the phone again to Shelbare. Again, he arrives tout de suite. The number 8 switch only needs to be forced down during the day time, otherwise the system overrides it and defaults to automatique. D’accord Shelbare, merci, we say feeling somewhat like small children.
Over the next two weeks we see Shelbare frequently as he is still clearing from our property a myriad of furniture left behind from the previous owners. Shelving from the Swiss oven room, a washing machine from one of the apartments, old mattresses and a huge kit set armoire. (bear in mind possession date was two months earlier!) Shelbare declares that the armoire is too heavy to lift so he proceeded to dismantle it. Remember the speed thing, it took about 75 seconds to have it in 18 different carry-able parts.

If you require any demolition jobs, then Shelbare is your man. If they ever want to replace the Eiffel Tower we are sure Chirac will put out a call for Shelbare. He would finish his day’s work in the village, race up to Paris, the city would awake in the morning to find the Eiffel Tower has vanished from its skyline and Shelbare would be back on the job at la village Chaudenay that same morning.
Two months later we are at a village welcome function meeting the Mayor, various local officials and identities such as the secretary of the tennis club. But the grand surprise is our ami Shelbare. Not only is he a member of the team but blow us down if he’s not wearing a policeman’s uniform! So we call him Captain and salute him. Privately he seems chuffed that he has surprised us. We learn later he is not strictly a policeman as such but has a wide number of security like functions within the boundries of Chaudenay.
So that for now is our ‘angel’ Shelbare, I am sure it wont be the last you hear about him!
A Bientot,
Bruce.